TERMINAL BOREDOM Review Archive pt. II

EEK sez more about stuff

Let’s join our program, already in progress…

Blank Dogs "First Two Weeks" 12"

Who is this masked man? Dunno, but who cares when he (and she?) are making such discombobulating sounds. Maybe Mr. Blank Dog is trying to teach us a lesson about our society's cult of personality. Maybe this person is a known quantity in our little underground circle-jerk niche. Maybe it's fucking Thurston Moore fer chrissakes. Taking both conceptual and musical cues from the original mystery group, The Residents, Blank Dogs are making the big come-up awfully fast, but it's well deserved. If you're familiar with any of the recent reissues of early "minimalist" synth-punk then these sounds will be treasure to your ears. Particularly the retarded synth freak-out at the end of Side One's "Surveillance Man." So retarded that The Spits are are sleepless in Seattle with jealousy. I like Side Two even more. "Ambulance" steals a guitar riff from some classic punk song that....I can't....quite...name. Yes, it's driving me crazy. "Dismorphobia" (fear of being ugly + early 70s hard rock ref?) is the real hit on this platter. Hell, I heard my roommate singing along to it the other day. Great nervous bass line and strangely haunting vocals plus the catchiest melodies on any of these songs. Here it is, kids, all your agoraphobic dreams cum true: Fad Gadget on a budget, lost tracks that should be on I Hate The Pop Group, Ralph Records, what the fuck did ever happen to Vileness Fats?

(Freedom School)

Blank Dogs "Yellow Mice Sleep" 7"

Spankin new 45 by our mysterious friend, and it's even better than the 12. "Yellow Mice Sleep" betrays its creator's fond feelings towards My Bloody Valentine and Jesus and Mary Chain with its dreamy melody and thick, soupy guitar-bed. "Housefly" quivers and disturbs, while "Smashed Up People" is Mr. Blank Dog's best song yet, stuffing a catchy chorus into what sounds like a demo version of a Chairs Missing cut. Better jump on board, there's another 12" comin down the pipe! Scum Stats: 100 yellow vinyl (sold out?), 400 black.

(Hozac Records // www.myspace.com/horizontalaction)

Car Commercials "Jar" 7"

Not only sporting one of the best band names currently going, Car Commercials also features one Daniel Dimaggio, he of Princeton, NJ's manic pop thrill, Home Blitz. Dunno if you'd call this a "side project," but CC trade in a different sort of damage. Mostly this reminds me of the fractured bedroom musings of early Sebadoh recs like Weed Forestin' and The Freed Man, complete with tape fuckery and other messings around. Admittedly, there's nothing here on the catchiness level of "Little Man" or "Punch in the Nose," nor is there quite the late-night creep factor of their cassette release, but I can say with some confidence that none of these "songs" will end up on a Subaru ad.

(Leaf Leaf // www.geocities.com/leafleafrecords)

Cheater Slicks "Walk Into The Sea" LP

I know a dude who hates the Cheater Slicks. He says it's cuz they don't tune. All I can say to that is, "Shove the 12-tone system up your ass, throw out your copy of Psychocandy, and lick my hairy anal fissure." My God, what is wrong with people these days? The Slicks could give a fuck about tuning, and I could give a fuck about their not giving a fuck, cuz, well, they don't give a fuck about nothin (see opening cut "My Position on Nothingness"), and nobody seems to give a fuck about them (except for rabid thousand-strong fan base), so, fuck everything, OK? What's their to say, really? Yeah, it's lovely out. Fuckin great. Lemme pop a boner. I got a nice day boner and nowhere to stick it. NOwhere. Permanent state of existence for these folks. Maybe they're married, maybe they're record store clerks, maybe they're gravediggers. Maybe they'll buy you a shot of Whiskey at the watering hole, but they'll probably just save their money for another shot for them cuz Fuck You, right? "Run Run Run" and "Crackin Up" are the garage punk unknown classics on here, and they makes me real goddamn happy. This record makes me fucking happy, OK?

(Dead Canary//www.deadcanaryrecords.com)

Cheveu "My Answer is Yes!" 7"

Ahh, Cheveu, the only French Glue-Wave (thank Killings or Boyd for that one) band to have brought their huffy taint to the dirty American masses. And we thank you for it, you fucking slimey hair-farmers. "My Answer is..." sounds kinda threatening, what with David pulling his "I just smoked a joint laced with PCP" vocal excoriations. Flip it over and you get the wacky, light-side-of-the-force style that reminds so much of Trio and also really makes you wanna to go out and ogle girls, cuz I think that's what it's pretty much about. Comment vous dites "pussyhound" en Francais?

(Rob's House)

El Jesus De Magnifico "Funeral Home Session" EP

Haven't hear these guys' full-length, but I am digging this 33 1/3 rpm 7" EP. Slurred musings sounding not unlike Royal Trux trying out a Joy Division cover. The spaced-out vocals hover above and around the meandering playing, but it has a sort of hallucinatory quality. A bit aimless, but I used to live in a converted funeral home in Columbus, so I can identify where these dudes are coming from.

(Columbus Discount // www.columbusdiscountrecords.com)

Grinderman s/t CD/LP

Nicky, baby! Can I get a "Hell yeah!"? HELL YEAH. This is what I'm talkin' 'bout. All respect to your Leonard Cohen fantasies, Mr. Cave, but this is what the public wants. Grinderman is basically a slimmed-down Bad Seeds getting back to their roots. It's the most raucous thing they've done since Tender Prey, if not their debut, the classic From Her to Eternity. I guess there are some moments on Murder Ballads that go for the throat, but there is also a lot of superfluous bullshit on that one and this monkey skips all that. Newest addition, violinist Warren Ellis (of Dirty Three), shoves everything over the top with all manner of awesome wah-wah'ed, distorted, and delayed sawing. His textures replace the departed Blixa Bargeld's six-string molesting, and, look at this, Nick picks up a guitar and starts rockin'! Mid-life crisis never sounded so good! Who needs a Ferrari? Believe it or not, even in The Birthday Party, Cave wrote all his songs on piano, but he stops the ivory-tickling for just a sec and we like it. You've also got Jim Sclavunos on drums and that guy was in Teenage Jesus and The Jerks (when he was an actual teenager) and you can't get much cooler than that (Lydia Lunch took his fuckin virginity, ferchrissakes!). This album isn't amazing, but it is damn good, and it's nice to hear that even a debonair international man of mystery like Nick Cave has problems getting laid (the hilarious "No Pussy Blues"). "Depth Charge Ethel" takes the heavy-organ pseudo-gospel stylings of that double LP that came out a couple years ago, but strips it down so even the heathens will like it. He even sounds like he's singing with a sneer again. Recommended to all die-hard and fairweather Cave fans. The rest of you.......there's a Birthday Party record with your name on it, waiting for you, grinning seductively.

(Mute/Anti // www.anti.com)

The Hunt "One Thousand Nights" 7"

Pretty sure this band's from NYC, but they probably wish they were from Manchester, or maybe Leeds. Lots of early Cure worship on here, but, oddly enough, the singer's voice recalls a newer UK import: the dude from Bloc Party. Side A, "One Thousand Nights," drags on far too long and sounds a bit iron-deficient. The flip has a little more oomph and throws in some possible Killing Joke influence, but it still won't get these guys on the cover of Melody Maker (yes, I know it's defunct).

(Monster Squad // www.monstersquadnyc.com)

Los Llamarada "The Exploding Now" LP

Whether from the seedy streets of Gay Paris or the hairy backwoods of Northern California, Sacto's S-S Records is not afraid to venture far and wide for new strains of outsider punk music. Their newest discoveries hail from Monterrey, Mexico, not exactly a known hotbed of Weird Punk. There's some interesting junk on this LP, but, truthfully, much of it seems unfinished. I like things raw, but a few more stabs at some of these songs could've benefited the group. Maybe it's the lo-fi production on here, but a a lot of this stuff sounds like Times New Viking, which is kind of funny, but not really so crazy. Cycles, yo. I like when they layer noisy guitar and keyboard swirls as on "Lies." "The Discovery" is almost thuggish, but in a playful way. "I Welcome Tomorrow" has a great all-encompassing organ drone while some dude mumbles and screams in the background. "Je Sois" (can't escape them Frenchies!) could easily fit on one of those Sonic Youth SYR dillies; it sounds exactly like some breathy, sketchy Kim Gordon piece. The rest of side 2 drifts off in a haze of noise hovering over rudimentary drums and indecipherable vocals. Hopefully they keep it together for round two, cuz that one could be a doozy.

(S-S Records // www.s-srecords.com)

Necropolis "Stumpf" EP

Wow, this is quite a departure from their excellent, decidedly "pro" sounding LP. This 7" was recorded on 4-track at their practice spot and it sounds great! "Stumpf" is a an aggressive garage-punker with drunken vocals and screaming leads flying all over the place. "Van v. Art" steps back into the more post-punk sound they do, but is just as aggro and noisy as the A. I like when bands show us all their schizophrenic moods. Ace.

(Columbus Discount // www.columbusdiscountrecords.com)

Night of Pleasure "Godard vs.Truffaut" EP

Total Albini-damage here, especially in the wire-cutter guitar sound. But the songs veer into classic punk territory, off-setting the scrape n' clang. "Caesar's Palace" sounds like early Gaunt, but even noisier. "Bitch Pitch" has a New Bomb Turks vibe, but filtered through a decade of pig-fuckery. Actually, it all comes up smelliing like Monster Truck Five, which is as close to roses as you can get in Cowtown. Real classic C-bus shit here. Cool swirly black vinyl too.

(Columbus Discount // www.columbusdiscountrecords.com)

The Ponys "Turn The Lights Out" LP/CD

Can't help but wonder if the title is a reference to Interpol's college-chart-busting Turn On The Bright Lights, which was also on Matador. Cheeky bastards, these Ponys. Now, the obvious joke would be, "What's the diff between these gay indie bands anyway?" Hardee har. Yes, The Ponys sure are sounding more "indie" these days, but that's apropos of nothing, really. Although I could see the first cut, "Double Vision," maybe burnin up a chart or two. It's similar to Celebration Castle's "Glass Conversation," with its deep reverb stabs and hooky chorus. The rest of the LP follows suit, walking the middleground between Laced With Romance and Castle. I think Romance is a classic and I think Castle could've made a great EP, instead of an OK LP. This one continues the streak. They head back into noisy, reverb-drenched waters on some of these cuts, but you've also got some sluggish, boring tracks like "Shine" and "Kingdom of Hearts." "Poser Psychotic" sounds like current Sonic Youth. Nothing on here surprises like "She's Broken" and damn I miss Ian's songs, they added another shade and kept everything from sounding so rote. Hate to say it, Ponys, but I don't wanna fuck you no more.

(Matador // www.matadorrecords.com)

SIDS "+/-" 7"EP + DVD

Let's start with the packaging: Absolutely stunning. Cut-out cover revealing not one, but TWO layers of etched vellum-like paper adorned with all manner of skulls, flowers, and band members. Honestly, this thing looks it should have come out on ThreeOneG and had the name Get Hustle or Love Life on it. (This is not an insult, by the way.) Instead, you get Hotlanta's Sudden Infant Death Syndrome bashing their way through a mini-album's worth of songs. First cut, "+/- (Swastika Heart)," is the winner, all frantic synth blurts and manic, Hot Rod Toddy vocals. "Acid One" is the funHouse jam, tripping you out with the mirrors bending your head this way and that. Other side has a lock-groove in the middle of the record which is pretty fucking cool if totally fucking annoying. There's some kinda repeating blown-out madness happening that I'll let you try to wrap around yr head. Bonus: Comes with DVD-R of the 7" tracks plus photos n' shit. Another quality release from Rob's House.

Times New Viking "Presents the Paisley Reich" 12"

Now that Times New Viking has made the jump to mega-indie Matador, let's evaluate their brief but shining career, shall we? Their debut, Dig Yourself, was a sleeper hit just a year-plus ago. One of those "you gotta hear this" records you play for all your friends until they see the light and love it just as much as you do. Well, it was for me at least. Last record I can remember being that pushy with was The Ponys' Laced With Romance. Before I moved to The Big Apple, I tried my damndest to turn all of the North Coast onto that sucker. Thank you and you're welcome. Soon after, seems the whole world was feeling the vibe as indie rockers, punks, noise freaks, and even hardcore kids were joining hands in solidarity with the blissed-out basement punk of TNV. Gerard Cosloy must've gotten a whiff cuz now they're "big time." Bout fuckin time Matador signed a band that references what made them in the first place. Enough of the goddamn Adult Contemporary shit, folks!

OK, so the credit really lays on the brow of Tom Lax, who brought back his defunct/classic label Siltbreeze just to put out this band's records (and now Siltbreeze is the toast of the town again). They say pop culture moves in cycles. Sometimes "they" are right. So, how's the new mini-LP (nice lyrical etchings on the flip)? No huge strides are being made, and that's OK with me and probably you, too. Some have implied that this one's better than Dig Yourself, but I don't really buy that. It's more like a continuation. Same perfect, fuzzy production style, same real good, catchy songs, same great boy/girl vocals singing witty lyrics about small town doings and big escapist dreams. Bottom line: You like this band? You like this record. We'll see what happens next.

(Siltbreeze // www.siltbreeze.com)

White Savage s/t 7"

Quite the pedigree on this beast: Hollywood from Tyrades, Jered from Ponys, Colin from Screaming Yellow Zonkers (lawsuit pending), some dude from Chin Up Chin Up, even a guy from post-rockers, Euphone. None of this really matters though when you put the needle on the record. "Destroy Your Style" is blistering tribal-punk intent on ruining your day, but it won't; unless you have shitty taste in music. You could dance to this mess of animal howling, trumpet bleats, and rolling drums, no prob. The flip has one those Tyrade-style covers where they would essentially turn a cover into their own song. I really dig that song-as-launching-pad formula, and here White Savage picks Teenage Jesus and The Jerks' classic "Orphans" (which originally was a kind of tribute to Yoko Ono's "Don't Worry Kyoto, Mommy's Only Looking For Her Hand in The Snow"). With its disco bass line, angular guitars, dive-bombing electronics, and paranoid vocals, White Savage is actually sounding a lot like early Liars, which is not a bad thing to me, and shouldn't be to you either. One complaint: This sucker seems like it could have been mastered a little louder. Other than that: Best super-group since Traveling Wilburys. Scum stats: 100 "fur sleeve edition." 400 "savage black."

(Hozac Records// www.myspace.com/horizontalaction)

Yukon "Mortar" CD

Saw these guys play a ripping show in a NJ basement that sounded like US Maple plundering a Black Flag fakebook. On a less immediate format, their well-played but fairly trad mathcore sounds more mannered and calculated (bad pun, I know). There are some razor-sharp riffs and rhythmic hairpin turns executed with panache and passion, yet, in this far-off world of 2007, it's gonna take some serious death-defying stunts to really impress. Vocals, of course, are an afterthought and remind you why the best of this style is usually instrumental. Wish there was something new here, but there ain't. Makes you wanna pull out the first Drive Like Jehu and hear it done right.

(Terra Firma // www.terrafirmarecords.com)

Abe Vigoda 7"

These kids are onto something. Previously wading in a No Wave-y pool, they have now set sail for the equator like an 18th-century Portuguese explorer. My only complaint about "Animal Ghosts," is that it's too damn short. They build up a storm of guitars and drums that comes to an abrupt halt just when you're sorting it all out. The B-side, "All Night and Day," sounds like a condensed version of the more rocked-out Animal Collective material. The reverbed/delayed guitar tones on this 45 sound like dew-drops from a rainforest. They call this "Tropical pop" and that is an apt description. Seriously makes you wanna crack open a coconut and a Corona, like one of those ubiquitous ads. They got sand in their joints and stars in their eyes.

(Post Present Medium/Mosher // www.postpresentmedium.com)

Pink Reason "By A Thread" 7"

Awesomely depressing Cakekitchen vibes on the side-long "By A Thread." Lowdown voice, like Ian Curtis from beyond the grave, or, hell, still-alive dudes like Roy Montgomery or a Jefferies brother. There is an undeniable connection to the fine tradition of New Zealand outsider/bedroom pop here. It manifests itself in the dirgey, yet somehow catchy and memorable, grinding guitar melodies and relentless forward motion of the drums. It all ends up sounding so far away, like your lover or dying mother gazing into the distance, but also so close, so intimate, like a cold hand on the back or a hot breath in the ear. "The Devil Always Wins" is the live hit staple. You clap along as Kevin sings the snot-encrusted "it only hurts when I lafff" lyrics. It's like a lost 'Anthology of American Folk Music' field recording, unearthed for these troubled times. "Down On Me" is the most-straightforward pop song yet by Pink Reason. It's comes on like a ray of sunlight peaking through the clouds, but ends up revealing itself as another bittersweet ode to life's gray moments, albeit with more "uplifting" melodies, a nice bridge, and fleeting moments of what might be hope.

(TrickKnee Productions)

Silver Daggers/Shearing Pinx split 7"

Silver Daggers are starting to wear out their welcome with their side of this split. One track is a passable cut, recorded live at The Smell, that is redeemed only by the pounding bass n' drums. The other cut is a tweaked-out practice space jam that reminds you of why hip-hop belongs in the street, or in the early 80s. These folks need to start writing some songs, or at least stop completely aping styles from the past. We still have some good will left, let's not blow it. Shearing Pinx, on the other hand, take some old styles (mainly early SY and G. Branca bands like Theoretical Girls) and make them sound fresh as a bar of Irish Spring. Their guitar sound alone scores big points, but this bass-less trio manages to craft interesting and somewhat hook-y sounds out of their No Wave slash n' burn. They have a bevy or releases, so maybe start somewhere else, eh? Scum stats: Limited to 400.

(Arbor // www.arborcdr.com)

We March 7"

Unbelievably, this is the first vinyl appearance by these broke-as-a-jokesters. Ridiculous, especially when you consider that We March is one of the rippingest, tearingest hardcore punk bands in the country. No, these guys do not satisfy your desire for textbook 80s HC, your taste for ironic bandana thrash, nor your OCD-complex need to pigeon-hole every riff and vocal sneer. If you must trainspot, then strap in tight, because you can check off a few decades' worth of small-town depression/hate with this band: Stooges, Negative Approach, Cows, Black Flag, Butthole Surfers, Necros, Saints, ah whofuckincares. The real point is: you need to see this band live. But if you can't, this EP'll hafta do ya. First side features two thrashers: "The Choice," and "Beep Beep Beep," which blazes by until the almost NYHC-esque mosh breakdown at the end. On the flip, "She Who Makes Dogs Shiver" is a dense, tough-as-nails rocker that bores a hole into your head. Rock n' roll made with an eye cast towards hardcore and vice-versa. Scum stats: Limited to 300

(Wicked Singles // www.wickedsinglesrecords.com)

Little Claw "Spit and Squalor Swallow The Snow" LP

The main objective for Michigan trio Little Claw seems to be hypnosis. 'Spit and Squalor...', their second LP, opens with a striking statement of this intent. "Hobo Baby Zeus" utilizes singer/guitarist Kilynn's multi-tracked stoned moan to invoke the gods of train-hopping and oil-barrel fires. Back that up with the fantastic "Movies For You," a dead-on replication of The Pin Group's late-night JD/VU strummathons, which actually puts it midway between the aforementioned Group and their later incarnation as Dadamah, Kilynn's voice echoing Kim Peiters' anguished wail. Except here, the mood is full of lust and fascination, whereas the New Zealanders were portraying the moment after said lust has been satiated, often with a lifetime of regrets to follow. "Brackish Stratum" brings it down to a Gories gutter-punch, while "Prickly Pear" steps into the junk-shop, rattling shit around and getting loose like a dime-store Tom Waits. "Polar Bear" closes out side one with more Dadamah-esque shudders. Side two is a bit of a come-down as its aimlessness isn't quite as bewitching as the first side. But "Shoplifting Cart pt. II" ends things on an approriately feverish note, sounding like a pagan ritual being performed in a Wal-Mart parking lot. 'Spit and Squalor Swallow The Snow' is a perfect record for rainy afternoons and wee-hour whiskey drunks.

(Ecstatic Peace // www.ecstaticpeace.com)

Shellac "Excellent Italian Greyhound" LP/CD

Is there a more divisive figure in underground music than Steve Albini? Sure, he's not poking a finger in the public eye as much as in his heyday of the 80s and 90s, but he still wields a hefty amount of influence and his skinny-ass shadow still falls on much of the indie/punk world. You can usually find me on his side of the chain-link fence, ready to excuse whatever blanket statement he has most recently made, and, more importantly, championing his music, which, until recently, has been almost uniformly excellent. Which makes this new Shellac LP (their first in 7 years) so painful. '1000 Hurts' was a grower not a shower, but this slab doesn't compel many repeat listens. Sure, the packaging and artwork is typically luxurious, eye-popping, and bizarre, but who really cares when the music itself is so devoid of life? I really think that Albini and bassist/fellow engineer Bob Weston have become so adept at recording themselves that they can't hear how the ultra-meticulous techniques have rendered their music so hermetically-sealed that it exists in its own vacuum. And that's probably the way they want it. Shellac's "minimal" rock is actually quite unique, despite its superficial similarities to the endless cavalcade of math rock for the last 15 years.

Yet, divorced of all recording issue ephemera, the songs here do not deliver. They sound lazy. The long opening track, "The End of Radio," starts as a lesson in snare-drum recording, segues into a pointless fractured-narrative (what does it all mean? who cares) by Albini, and occasionally trots out some guitar amidst the repeating bass-chords. It goes on way too long (but not as long as that first song on 'Terraform') and when Albini starts shrieking "Can you hear me now?!" you can barely muster the brain-power to try to tell if he's being ironic, or just out-dated. Maybe someone told him he looks like the dipshit in those commercials. "Steady As She Goes" is an inferior rewrite of 'At Action Park's "A Minute," while "Be Prepared" starts out promising but winds up going nowhere. "Elephant" is a semi-catchy Weston-sung ditty that succeeds on its own modest terms. The meandering "Genuine Lullabelle" opens side two like the companion to "The End of Radio," but really only distinguishes itself via a brief appearance by Word Jazz master Ken Nordine, who could liven up even the dullest of parties. His voice is like butter melting on every nook and cranny of an English muffin. The rest of the side chugs along with a series of unimaginative rhythmic lock-downs. "Boycott" is passable, sounding like another 'Action Parl' outtake, and then, ironically, the last song finally brings some rambunctious energy with the frantic "Spoke." This record doesn't "suck," per se, it's just boring as goddamn hell.

(Touch and Go // www.touchandgorecords.com)

A/V Murder 7" EP

I might be the only person awaiting new White Savage material, but if this is what Jimmy Hollywood and other Chicago nervous eaters like Bill from Cococoma (hey, they’re still around, right?) are gonna dish us in the meantime, I, for one, am superfuckinghappy. Maybe exactly what you’d expect; intense jittery knife-edged punk much like Tyrades, with definite Jenna-like vocals, but as good as ever and it’s nice to hear this paranoid sound again. Somehow, it’s soothing. Like walking the streets in a really evil mood and the secret joy that comes with imagining killing everyone in devious ways and smiling to yourself. Or maybe that’s just me.

(Dusty Medical // www.dustymedicalrecords.com)

Bad Party "Coming Out Slowly" LP

What if Whitehouse were a dance band from Detroit? What if you were at a party where there were no girls, no booze, but mountains of cocaine? Heavy pondering, I know, but it would probably sound something like this duo (one guy used to be in Tamion 12-inch). The beats could hit a bit harder, but the fuzz bass keeps things grounded in rock, while the Bennett-esque vocals make you feel like you’re cornered by a cokehead at a curtains-drawn party in a bombed-out part of town. Yes, a Bad Party, indeed. Gimme the Thorazine, maan…

(Animal Disguise // www.animaldisguise.com)

Jacuzzi Boys “Island Avenue” EP

All love affairs must end, but I wouldn’t write off The Black Lips quite yet. They still got mad tricks and a couple handfuls of great songs up their sleevelesses, but if you are yearning and burning for some of that olde tyme flower-punk sound then you can do no better than Florida’s Jacuzzi Boys. Get past the icky name (brings up semen-laden hot tubs in this perv’s mind) and surrender to what sound like third eye/bardo garage jams of a decidedly mystic quality. And what do we owe this too? Multiple viewings of ‘Holy Mountain’ sippin on sizzurp? Crowley by way of Crypt? I’m babbling. Here’s the dope: “Island Ave” has a guitar line that seems to directly reference that Shadowy Men/Planet ‘Kids in the Hall’ theme and will burrow under your skin in one listen flat. “Dream Lion” is astral punk par excellance (a new genre everyday!). It sticks a lucid thumb in Carlos Castaneda’s eye and sounds like a long strange trip through a painted desert. “You Oughta Know” is the party jam and it rounds out one of the best 7”s of the year.

(Hozac Records // www.horizontalaction.com)

Little Claw "Race to the Bottom" 7”

“Race to the Bottom” is a strum hard - ask questions later ditty with the urgent vocals driving it towards its conclusion. “Feeding You (Your New Home)” is the real winner here, creeping around in that junkyard rock thing they do with Kilynn’s vox sounding distinctly like Lydia Lunch’s circa “Honeymoon in Red" and it makes me wanna do some smack (with my hand!).

(Siltbreeze // www.siltbreeze.com)

Mayyors "Megans LOLZ" EP

The thing about Mayyors is they have this tremendous momentum, yet they also indulge in these time warp meltdowns that sound like an aural simulation of some hideous biochemical event. A perfect example is Side A, segueing from the get-ready head-churn of “Intro” into the propulsive punk of “Airplanes.” That bass sound KILLS and then it drops into a part that literally sounds like a plane taking off (almost like Silver Apples “You and I”) and then dive-bombs around some other in-flight emergencies. Time to join the Mile High Club. B-side “White Jeep” totally confirms my hunch that Mayyors sound a lot like prime Slug, ‘The Out Sound’-era, a fucking great record that needs to be sought out again and probably reissued on a lavish 2xLP set. I mean, I can practically hear Mayyors covering “Aurora f” and would not be surprised if they soon ventured into a noisy sort of dub, like a few cuts on that Slug rec and latter-day Terminal Cheesecake.

(Gomerdome // www.mtstmtn.com )

Short Rabbits "Dying By Inches" LP

Dark CLE punk like they used to do back in the bleak Reagan Eighties and all that fear and paranoia has come back around again as markets collapse and we’re scared of the skeletons next door. Makes sense as Short Rabbits are based and sung by Charlie Ditteuax, former 3-string bottom-dweller in seminal Clevo band, Easter Monkeys (still time to track down their lone LP, chump!). Easter Monkeys, along with bands like The Guns and Spike in Vain, embodied a drugged-out hero in the urban wasteland kind of ideal and Short Rabbits reconnect to that sound/idea. Nice to hear Buddy (former Neon King Kong/current This Moment in Black History) rip off some choice rock n’ roll licks on opener “Beat Seeker” while his wife pounds the skins like Ed Gein at a drum circle. You’ve got spacey alienation cuts (“Out of This World”) and sinister mood-Monkeys (“The Murder Room”) mixed up with classic hardcore punk (“R U Receiving Me?”). And that’s just side one. Side two features more desperation, but it ain’t all gloom and doom. “Little Insects” comes along just in time and will get you shaking some ass. Twenty-five years too late to be on ‘The New Hope’ comp, but just in time for Christmas.

(My Mind’s Eye // www.mymindseyerecords.com)

Sonic Chicken 4 “Midnight Girl” 7”

This is a no-brainer. Sonic Chicken 4 put out a mighty fine longplayer on In The Red last year, impressed everyone with their live show, and if that’s not enough, it’s on Rob’s House which is a sure-as-shit sign of quality. “Midnight Girl” has an almost Deadly Snakes-esque feel with a great rave-up in the middle. “Toe Man” could be a minute or so longer, but whatever, I’m actually more of a Neck Man.

(Rob’s House // www.robshouserecords.com)

Strange Boys “Woe Is You and Me" 7”

For some reason, I’d thought I’d hate this band, but this ain’t half-bad. The front sounds like a decent combo of Deadly Snakes/Black Lips, which isn’t the most ground-breaking thing right now, but they do it OK. I’d take the Midwestern grit of Goodnight Lovin’ over this, but you may prefer differently. You may also think you could never hear another version of “Baby Please Don’t Go,” and you may be onto something, but Strange Boys don’t embarrass themselves with it, unlike The Go doing “Gloria” at this show in Cleveland years ago. You may have thought it was impossible to fuck that song up, but, hey, you’d be wrong.

(In the Red Records // www.intheredrecords.com)

Tyvek “Sidewalk” 7”

I think this EP completes the slow process of getting all of Tyvek’s hit CDR ‘Fast Metabolism’ on wax. Which is great. But, honestly, a song like “Future Junk” has so much power, velocity, and presence live at this point that these versions are nice to have for documentations’ sakes, but makes ‘em almost disappointing to listen to. “Sidewalk” doesn’t suffer as much for this, sounding like a lost Desperate Bicycles track. Worth it, but it’s time for an LP already, gentlemen.

(M’Lady Records // myspace.com/mladysrecords)

LiveFastDie/Lover! split 7”

I’m a little dumber for listening to this one, or at least my girlfriend probably thinks so. There’s really no decent way to defend my singing “I’ve got a booger in my asshole” all day long. But, I’ll hand it to Lover!, it wouldn’t be my refrain this afternoon if it wasn’t a really good, really catchy song. Full of fuzz-toned guitar, an impeccable melody, and first grade bathroom lyrics, this fires on all cylinders. On the flipside, Livefastdie compliment nicely with a good punker that keeps the theme alive.(DH)

“Sick of Shit as Shit” is yet another in a solid line of LFD songs with killer riffs that are just this side of ass-shaking. The sound is maybe a little less grimy, which makes the Garageband beats sound a lil’ too fake. Time for a full-band record? Lover! Is Rich Crook’s prolific one-man (in the studio at least) pop-psych-punk band, perhaps not uninspired by Camero Werewolf. Rich goes for a real groovy new wave sound on this one. If it wasn’t called “Booger in My Asshole,” I could actually picture this playing in a pivotal scene in ‘Valley Girl’ or at least ‘Mannequin’ or something.

(Douchemaster Records // www.douchemasterrecords.com)

Mutators/Shearing Pinx split LP

Simply put, Shearing Pinx are just a perfect noise-punk band. Taking their cues from early Sonic Youth (‘Confusion is Sex’-style), but upping the brutality factor along with a mingly/mangly mix of chaos and precision, they contribute a side-long piece of ravaged guitars that plays like No Wave jazz. Smack! Mutators are fellow agitators from new-ish (?) punk hotbed Vancouver BC, and their Scratch Acid/Jaks attack is a beautiful beast to behold. Coming off a bit more hardcore, yet also dirtier, than those bands, Mutators have a singer that sounds like she wants to claw your eyes out. Scratch that itch, baby.

(Ugly Pop // myspace.com/catcall)

V/A "Shiftless Decay" LP

Maybe you thought the recent Detroit rock scene peaked years ago, when White Stripes were a genuinely exciting phenomenon and Dirtbombs were still new and laying down sick dance-floor jams between Tom Potter’s snarky remarks. Or maybe you veered more towards the damaged, genuinely dangerous sounds of Clone Defects and The Piranhas, easily two of the best punk bands in the country at the time. Well, I hope you never stopped paying attention, or at least started again. You’ve heard of Tyvek, right? This label called X! Records helped you out with that, and they’ve also released some great records by Frustrations, Fontana, and Terrible Twos among others. Now they’ve got a nice scene comp, the way they used to make ‘em. And shit is quality. Tentacle Lizardo kick it off. They were sort of like Piranhas' brother band and they show up here sounding mighty fish-bitey. Human Eye follow with “Fix Me Universe Nurse” and if you’ve glommed that LP, then you know what kind of epic astral-punk you’re in for. Frustrations are biker-psych-punk for a new generation and so they appropriately approximate a “Psychedelic Motorcrash.” Terrible Twos drop off “Negative Drip,” which kinda sounds like Catholic Boys w/ a synth. Heroes & Villains and Johnny Ill Band close out the first side with a couple of poppier numbers that sound like 80s college rock, H&V sounding particularly Clean-ish.

Flip leads off with a 2004 demo version of Tyvek doing “Flashing Lights,” which is nice to hear, followed by the ridiculous scum punk of The Mahonies, featuring some dudes from Terrible Twos. Hunt down their single, it’s good, and funny. The Fontana song isn’t quite as killer as their 7” from last year, but this is a band to watch. Anxiously awaiting their LP. Little Claw do a very different take on their “Feeding You Your New Home” than on their recent Siltbreeze 7”. This one is a noisy blues that I’m gonna call “the Gories version.” THTX is new to me, but their “Monorails to Nowhere” is cool psych inna George Brigman vein. Odd Clouds are an ESP-Disk-inspired semi-super group of noteworthy Detroit dudes and they get weird and communal and, shit, maybe you should spark that joint now.

(X! Records // www.x-recs.com)

Vivian Girls “I Can’t Stay” 7”

I’m not here to debate Vivian Girls with you, I am merely here to tell you that if you like the LP, you will also enjoy this 45. “I Can’t Stay” is as good as anything on there and has a dark undercurrent, which is beginning to bubble to the surface on their newer songs. The songwriting seems slightly more sophisticated, but not in any sort of forced way. The B-side is an apparently mis-titled cover (supposed to be “Run Spot Run,” by Daisy Chain), but regardless it’s a lovely vision of the Girls’ way with reverb-spectral voicings.

(In The Red // www.intheredrecords.com)

Zola Jesus s/t 7”

I can see why people wouldn’t dig this. I can see their little thought-bubbles with silent cries of “Tori Amos!” “Fiona Apple!” “Lilith Fair!”. Fair enough, I say, but I’m also thinking “Marianne Nowottny!” “Azalia Snail.” “Suicide?” Hell, in some ways, Zola Jesus sounds like a lo-fi Portishead. I kinda dig it.

(Die Stasi // myspace.com/diestasi)

Black Congress “Slums of Heaven" 7" & “London’s Burning” 7”

Black Congress are a Houston TX rock unit made up of some former Fatal Flyin’ Guilloteens and who knows what else. What I do know is they bring some heavy punk, unafraid to grind out hypnotic riffs with all manner of keyboard/sample noise adding to the din. “Slums of Heaven” almost gets into Loop territory, a rainy day bass-heavy dirge. You’d probably be happy to know that “London’s Burning” is not a Clash cover, but maybe less pleased with it’s rather pedestrian ‘90s post-hardcore vibe. I think it’s the unnecessarily distorted vocals, but the song itself never communicates the rage it’s attempting to channel. “Davidians” is better, circular bass groove and random noises adding some depth to the proceedings. I just realized how much this sounds like Slug (esp. the vocals), but without the latter’s, shall we say, charm. With a little more focus, Black Congress could be a deadly force. I really dig the black-and-white photo aesthetic they’ve got going on with the sleeves of these two self-released singles. Rumor has it that AmRep is gearing up again, and maybe we’ll be hearing more from these guys via those guys.

(self-released // blckcngrss.blogspot.com)

Circle X untitled 12”

Praise be to the holy god of Nihilism that this monumental slab of No Wave/proto-noise rock is finally once again available in the preferred format, 12” vinyl. Originally released in France back in 1979 on Not a Label, reissued on CD in 1996 via Dave Grubbs’ short-lived Dexter’s Cigar imprint, and now, once again, courtesy of Insolito, this 4 song masterpiece is out there roaming the dirty streets looking for kicks, and maybe to get kicked. It’s truly remarkable how contemporary this sounds, yet it is so utterly of-its-time. An additional paradox is how absolutely filthy ‘70s New York it comes across, yet it was written and recorded in France. Opening with the closest they get to a traditional rock song, “Tender” has a guitar line that predicts The Pixies ten years early, punctuated by perfectly-placed feedback breaks. Tony Pinotti’s anguished vocals complement the gradually-disintegrating track with maniacal shrieks to “Bow to me!” “Albeit Living” begins with layered voices reciting a brief poem then dives head-first into an abyss of near-hardcore velocities and eviscerated guitar entrails. “Onward Christian Soldier” is a dirge that plows endlessly forward, an awful invitation to a pointless slaughter; almost like a Black Sabbath song cut adrift from blues and groove, a post-“War Pigs” trudge towards annihilation. “Underworld” starts off prefiguring the violent hardcore poetry of Antioch Arrow and interrupts with mournful breaks before savagely ending just as you are getting a handle on the cacophony presented to you. It is a breathless listen, and it is highly recommended.

(Insolito // www.insolitorecords.com)

Lognhalsmottagningen "Fina Nyanser I Nya Finanser" 7”

Holy fuck, this record. I’m tempted to do one of those ultra-obnoxious “This is what punk should sound like” spiels, but I’ll spare us both and just say that This is what punk should fucking sound like. I have no clue what they’re saying and I have no idea how to pronounce their name, but I do know that the drums are recorded so perfectly it makes me want to cry. The snare just thwacks you in the face with every hit, the bass has a great gnarly, dirty, but not too distorted, tone, and the guitar coats it all in a glorious sheen of treble. The singer rants just right and I dunno, it’s just really goddamn good. The only thing I can make out on the insert is that they lift a “melody” from the Young Identities’ “Positive Thinking.” Hey, great artists steal. But it’s “Nya Lognhalsar” on the B-side that makes me want to jump off a building in pure ecstasy. I swear it’s one of the best punk songs of the last few years. The weird thing is one of these dudes was in Boyracer or something? There’s a Slumberland connect. I love this record. Buy it.

(Local Cross // www.localcross.com)

Scarcity of Tanks "Bleed Now" CD

Scarcity of Tanks is the ongoing concern of Matthew Ming Shank Wascovich, a reclusive poet perched on the shores of Lake Erie. Despite his playfully anti-social tendencies, “Wasco” has managed to rope many a talented Cleave musician (and sometimes beyond) into his free-rock band, flirting with noise, jazz, and the more avant-garde offshoots of hardcore punk. 2008’s No Endowments brought all of these disparate factors together in a satisfying long-player. Bleed Now finds the group as close to a “normal” rock band as they have been yet, maintaining a relatively solid line-up and playing shows on a consistent basis. The album storms out with “August,” establishing the template, as Wasco declares his lyrics over Ted Flynn’s guitar, which peels off new directions in Classic rock shred, like Joe Baiza raised on The James Gang. The rhythm section is all muscular throb, bassist Sebastian Wagner occasionally finding the hidden melodies beneath the avant-thrum (like on “Cardboard”); the drums are in the capable hands of journeyman Clevo skinsman (and painter), Scott Pickering, Puff Tube himself, member of bands ranging from Spike in Vain to Speaker/Cranker. At the mid-century mark, he still pounds harder than kids a third his age. The man is a rock. Not content with just monotoning his abstract lyrics, Wasco sings more on this release than ever before. “Requisite Fire” has a meditative Lungfish serenity, which is blown apart by the hardcore gallop of “Melt Dove Miles.” SoT has gone through some interesting transformations over the years, but this newest version may be the best yet. On Bleed Now, they come across like some sort of mutant post-punk avant-garage Jim Carroll Band, sans the Catholic guilt, instead a heaping pile of Rust Belt blues on their plates.

(Total Life Society/Textile // www.textilerecords.com)

Sleetmute Nightmute "Night of The Long Knives" LP

Recorded back in 2003, and quickly vanishing into a haze of on-again/off-again possible release (mostly through that notorious scene-hopping label par excellance, Troubleman Unlimited), this legendary (to a certain scene of people at least) album finally sees a proper burial via Gossip guitarist Nathan Howdeshell’s new-ish label, Fast Weapons. The Portland group was a No Wave nightmare, a post-hardcore/math rock MARS, chops to burn, especially the drummer, who executes some truly sick rolls, and alternately pleading and pestering vocals. “INTERFERENCE….B&B Girls” is nearly 6 minutes of relentless No Wave pounding, stripped of all the gimmickry of the majority of Skin Graft bands, leaving the song itself lying in the street, a naked, mutilated corpse. “Scaring the Birds…Don’t Speak My Name” sounds like what you always thought acid rain felt like. This is dark stuff, confronting the more uncomfortable aspects of flesh and its desires, similar to the body horror expressed by contemporaries like early Chromatics and Shoplifting. The slash-and-burn attack of The Scissor Girls (and even Bride of NoNo) comes to mind, but Sleepmute Nightmute shows no sense of humor, instead clamoring forth with an intensity and focus rarely seen in today’s underground. The musical dexterity is off-set by the palpable anxiety and despair. It’s certainly not a fun listen, but I find myself continuously returning to the album, surrendering to the corrosive sheets of guitar and agonized vocals, but most especially those drums, which sound genuinely pained. Despite all the emotional turmoil in these songs, it makes me happy to see this lost slice of early Ought noise is finally out there for the general public.

(Fast Weapons // www.fastweapons.com)

The Slugfuckers “Three Feet Behind Glass + Instant Classic” LP

The Fuckers of Slugs practically wrote this review for me. Contained within the thick-ass record jacket, in true Dada fashion, is a manifesto. It trumps any references to Down’s Syndrome PiL, Psychedelic Horseshit in a particularly foul mood, or even merely typing the names People With Chairs Up Their Noses or Makers of the Dead Travel Fast.

CONCEPTUAL OPACITY – AN ABBERRANT MUSIC: The Slugfuckers’ Test of Musical (Dis)Taste [a selection]: “This band is one big joke, one endless experiment, one eternal orgasmic wank, one in TERMINabLe BORE.” “…our only recourse is to be anti-music, therefore pro-noise.” “The audience as beggar.” “The music is just an excuse.” “…better than eating or sex sometimes.” “The sound of stoppage and breakdown.” “We spray it all back at you.” “You dose yourself with mucus, booze, and downers…”

They almost break the spew/spell with a list of “friends and heroes” that includes SPK, N-Lets (who?), TG, Pere Ubu, Lee Harvey Oswald, ATV, The Pop Group, Yippies, Tristan Tzara, Luigi Russolo, etc. But the “CRAZYMIX, SCAPDASH” rant continues, and concludes with a threat of an invitation: “We advise you to keep away. We want to pulverize you with our maniacal love squeeze, hot tears up your cunt, shove spiders up your prick, force hedgehogs up your nose: We want you to feel like us and die. Throw away your strings.”

(Insolito // www.insolitorecords.com)

Sperm Wails "Lady Chatterly" 7"

Anyone who is hip to the Sperm Wails knows that it’s a goddamn tragedy that they didn’t release more material. I don’t care if they toured with My Bloody Valentine, I don’t care if they personally rolled Kevin Shields’ spliffs every night, I don’t care if they wore their mums’ knickers when she went to church on Sunday mornings, I don’t care if they diddled dogs’ assholes with their tongues, I JUST WISH THEY HAD PUT OUR MORE SHIT. A 12”, a 7”, a flexi (hey it was the ‘80s), that’s it! Argh!! They had a modest legacy of being a relatively forgotten great band that time forgot, until five years ago, when a video from the Shelter Video Compilation (whatever the hell that is) was posted on YouTube. The video was for a song called “Lady Chatterley,” that didn’t appear on any of their records, and was perhaps their most vicious song (and this is a vicious band). The video seemed to hint at dark and terrible things, while the music sounded like Pussy Galore stripped of everything but the hate and yeah fuck the blues, we got plenty of depression and spite to draw from. A small-scale web sensation for fucked-up losers clued into such things. Enter S-S Records, beloved label of those same FUL, and now this song finally feels the kiss of wax. “Mr Wonderful” is a throwaway, a dalliance, but who cares when you’ve got that song on a little 45 rpm single. What is “Lady Chatterley” like? As scissorkicks comments on the youtube: “This song makes me want to smash everything ever.” (S-S Records)

Human Eye/Sex Beet split 7"

There’s plenty of talk on “the Scion issue” spread amongst various forms of readily available media, so let’s skip that and address the music itself. Human Eye’s side was recorded by Ivan Julian (Voidoids) and he’s got a nice touch, softening the Eye up a bit for their take on Timmy’s “Martian Queen.” It works. You can hear early Alice Cooper band in the rolling drums and melodic psych guitar action. Somehow these guys can take that in-bred Detroit influence and twist it into something fresh. Sex Beet, on the other hand, seem completely out of place on the flipside. Their tune, “Alone,” (and it really is a “tune”) is a pleasant enough slice of catchy, vaguely psych, pop, but, really, what’s the point? You’ve got to try a lot harder if you’re gonna be on a split with Human Eye. Saves the trouble of turning the record over, I guess.

Women in Prison "Strange Waves" 7”

Hey all of you heavy-hitting punk collectors out there, I got some news for that ass: Great punk records are still being made! I know, crazy, right? Here (along with that Lognhal… platter) is one of the best of recent memory. Straight-up raging scuzz-punk from Austin TX. This here 45 contains three of the world-beaters from their six-song demo that came out last year. I thought “Suicidal Exit” was the hit, but it’s not to be found here. Doesn’t matter cuz these guys got songs for days. Yeah, they actually remembered to write some!

I, for one, appreciate that kind of forethought.

This is what this record sounds like: Your cool friends just spontaneously formed a band, they’re bursting with a couple ideas, they get a case of beer, they go down to the basement (I know it’s Austin but bear with me), they turn on the old dust-covered PA, the one from the Seventies, the one with the sick reverb that’s got presence and depth unlike these goddamn tinny pedals of today; they crank the guitars up to a nice Saints-like roar, and as the drummer deals with the fact that the drum kit is a piece of shit, a reverse pride starts forming as a matter of fact. “I’m gonna make this pile of junk sound good,” he thinks. They start playing. You are three floors up, reading a book about autoerotic asphyxiation, slowly squeezing a lemon, when you realize that the distant thunder you feel shaking the house is actually the dudes downstairs and they are fucking killing it. “Strange Waves” makes you wanna freak out, fuck anything that moves, then snort it up your nose, hell shove it up your fucking ass. A lightning bolt hits you: “My dumb-ass friends are the best punk band in the city, the state, maybe even the whole country….?!”

(HozAc Records // www.hozacrecords.com)

X-Ray Eyeballz "Crystal" 7”

What’s the proper nomenclature for a group of bands that are all connected? A gaggle? A flock? A murder? What about “shit-ton?” X-Ray Eyeballz are part of the incestuous Brooklyn scene centered around Golden Triangle(band)/Live with Animals(art gallery/showspace)/Beacon’s Closet(vintage/used clothing store). You see a lot of these same people in a lot of bands (K-Holes, Heavenly Blows, etc.), but the fact is, most of these bands are pretty damn good. X-Ray’s got OJ and Carly from GT (on vox/guit and vox/bass repectively) plus Rop, late of PeeChees and a friend to dogs everywhere. They have a sort of woozy, spooky vibe that doesn’t quite ever fully plunge into the swamp or the garage, but sounds just strange enough to carve out their own identity. Part of that is Rop’s weird keyboard and synth moves that add little bits and layers for your ears to pick out. The A, “Crystal,” is a good example of this; it seems kinda familiar and traditional, but there’s something about it that worms its way into your head (there’s a great video up on the webs for it too). The B has two quick numbers, the first of which is a decent Oh Sees rip, the second of which, “Kam Sing Nights,” has a nice shuffle and more prominent keys.

(HozAc Records // www.hozacrecords.com)